i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
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