I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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