i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
