Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
