allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
