You work out of a Hotel?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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