It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
