I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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