he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize