Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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