Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
