So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
