Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
