found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
