dude i'm inner monologue high
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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