do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
