I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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