what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
