Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
