It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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