Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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