You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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