So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
