Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize