Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
