I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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