Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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