i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize