remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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