Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize