Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
