We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
