i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
