I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
