So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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