Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize