I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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