I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
