Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
