I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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