No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
