you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
