Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
