he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize