I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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