i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
