Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
