New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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