He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
