I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
