The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize