these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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