my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
