He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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