so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
