What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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