have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
