Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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